Waiting and Trusting

I read the Bible a little each morning before I face the day. Prayer certainly helps me get focused and centered on the important things in life. Today I was in Psalms and I came across a highlighted passage that I wrote "Dec. 6, 2000" next to.

Psalm 27:13-14
"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!"

As I reread that passage my heart swelled with emotion as I remembered all that I was going through during 2000. I had just moved to England to pursue a Masters degree. Before leaving the States I pretty much gave away all my supplies and emptied out my
studio. Choosing a life of working in a museum instead of being a full-time artist (a gal's got to eat after all). I knew going to England was what I was supposed to be doing; I had prayed about it a lot and I knew it was time to move out of my comfort zone. In Missouri I had a great job in a gallery, great friends, and a great church. In England I felt lonely, cold, broke, and listless because I didn't have any space to create artwork. Over time I made friends, did some artwork, traveled, completed my program and headed back to America with high hopes of landing that cushy job in a Museum.

Because of Sept. 11th there were a lot of cutbacks in the arts and people were really holding on to their jobs. I applied for anything related to my field but just couldn't break in. I was living for free with a friend (and wearing out my welcome), driving my mom's car (she needed it back), selling donuts in the mornings, selling burgers at Sonic in the evenings, and donating my plasma three times a week just to make ends meet. Things seemed bleak but I would go back to that Psalm..."Wait, I say, on the Lord".

I was so stressed out I didn't even have the creative energy or space to do any artwork...this left me feeling even further away from myself. It was a hard time for me. I kept thinking, "God, where are you? Have I missed Your guidance here".

It got worse! I ended up joining the Army to at least pay for my student loans and get a steady paycheck. The Army was tough but I learned a lot about myself, achieved my goal of paying off my student loans, and even met my husband.

Today, as I read that Psalm I can honestly say that yes indeed, God has had His hand in it all, guiding me and ordering my steps. He has been faithful. I can trust Him when His word says to be of good courage. This is a true testament -- I do see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. My time is now. He has answered my prayers beyond measure. He has given me more than I could have dreamed at the time of Dec. 6, 2000. I have a huge studio, all the supplies I need, an awesome apartment to live in with my wonderfully supportive husband, opportunities to show my work, fellow artist friends at ACME, I'm debt free and living the life of a full-time artist. Wow, God is so good.