"Vigil"

"Vigil", Hand dyed muslin, rusted silk organza, image transfer, handmade leather journal, wooden prayer altar, 365 hand formed clay bowls. 

Approx. 47" H, 18" W, 72" D. 2013.

Vigil: a period of watchful attention.

I started working on "Vigil" the morning of January 1st, 2012. My goal was to conclude my daily prayer time by making one clay bowl and asking God to shape me into a vessel that can be used by Him. In the same way I was working the lump of clay into a usable form - a small bowl, I wanted God to work my heart into something that could be used for his glory - a vessel ready to receive love and pour that love out into the lives of others.  I asked the Holy Spirit to transform my life and character by giving me the desire and the ability to please God. 

Transformation doesn't happen over night. It's one small step at a time. One day at a time. Making these bowls was a reminder to slow down and reflect on the little changes that were happening inside of me. Each bowl represents an interval of surrender. Over the course of time, days ticked by and the bowls piled up. Each one a humble prayer and an unassuming act of submission. Along with the bowls, I journaled. I filled up pages with intimate streams of thought that chronicled the year. 

At the conclusion of the project I asked myself, "Did I change? Am I any different than I was a year ago?" and the truth is that I don't see or feel any big changes but I believe that the roots of my faith have become deeper and stronger through this process. 

The text panel that extends down the center of the piece has a handwritten Bible passage from the book of Psalms that was an inspiration to me along this spiritual journey.

Psalm 51, a psalm of David:

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.  Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.  Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge.  Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.  Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.  Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice.  Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.  

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.  

Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you.  Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.  

O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.  You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and repentant heart.