Still Alive

I just wanted to take a minute to say...I'm still alive. I haven't been blogging too much lately because to be truthful, I've been a little down, and feeling frustrated. I thought when I got to grad school I'd be learning all kinds of new things, instead, I have been challenged to reinvent my style but with little direction. Basically, I am struggling to teach myself new things but continually missing the mark. I just wanted to learn to weld, make jewelry, sculpt, throw a pot, screenprint, dye fabric, etc. Learn the basics of all the things I don't know how to do so I can grow as an artist and think about how I can incorporate the new techniques into my own work. But this semester I have a drawing class (which I'm kind of liking...I need the practice), an art history class (kind of liking it...and get to write a paper about an artist I am interested in), and a painting class that amounts to an independent study. You might say, wow Les, how great, you can just do what you want in there. Yes...and no. Production is expected, and I keep trying to move forward but continue to get a negative or only so-so response from my professor. He makes suggestions, I try to figure out things and give them a try...but still don't get good feedback. I'm just not used to feeling so "exposed". I like working in my studio at ACME where I'm free to try things and if they fail, well, sit and think on it for awhile and if I want to try again, ok. If not, no problem. Plus, I'm used to doing art for the fun of just making things and creating. And taking enough time to make it the right way. I like seeing how one little experiment can lead to a whole series, or one big piece. Here, well it's all about the deep meaning behind it and why you make this color choice or that. How it relates to your work as a whole, etc. Over thinking it all the time has taken the magic out of it for me. I am finding that my tiny sparks are snuffed out before they ever even get a chance to start smoking. Sigh.....I'm pushing through though. I haven't posted any of the stuff I've been working on because I don't feel confident about any of it.